AITAH for never settling because I keep upgrading to a better boyfriend

Kassy·7mo

When I date someone, I am not thinking long term. I treat it like a step. If he is better than my last boyfriend, I will date him. But instead of settling, I start preparing for the next upgrade.

If I meet a guy who is clearly a better option, I move on. I just do not believe in stopping when I can do better.

My friends say this is cold and that I am basically using guys as placeholders while I climb. I think I am just being honest and playing the dating market smart.

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Anonymous·7mo

hypergamy detected

Anonymous·7mo

It’s not illegal to date like this, but don’t act surprised when people stop trusting you. Reputation spreads faster than your upgrade cycle.

Newyerseyr·7mo

You treat your personal relationships like you do employers; I wonder how you'd feel if they started acting like it.

Also, how did you enjoy being dumped for better girlfriends?

J·7mo

It does sound kinda cold lol but just be nice and sympathetic to your partners and I don't think it's an issue.  Everybody's trying to find "the one" and many people settle on a partner who's "good enough" just because they're in their 30s and want to get married.  You gotta find yourself the one that's right for you, don't deprive yourself of that just because you feel bad for a 3 month boyfriend's feelings.  Just be thoughtful about how you break it off and treat them like a person you care about.

every time I've had a sad breakup, there's always one particular aspect of the relationship that I feel I'm never going to find again.  For one it was taste in music, for another it was humor, most recent was that we had a really good dynamic just existing in the same space and goofing around really openly, trustingly.  Every time I get sad because I feel I'm never gonna find that again, and I never do, but the next relationship just has another unique thing to value.  With this experience it's hard to imagine seeing people as clear "upgrades" without using only superficial metrics.  Attractiveness, how much money etc.  Maybe you do just know exactly what you want and it's clear for you, I just don't work that way.  I've dated people who were very attractive and charismatic but selfish, as well as people who were less attractive and awkward but we had a great dynamic.  Everybody got their trade-offs.  I pretty much just stay with one and see how it plays out until it doesn't.

Anonymous·7mo

Wow. Red Pill is true